Attachment--A Hot but Frequently Misunderstood Concept

As a domestic relations mediator and Guardian ad Litem, I frequently see parties and attorneys bandying about the concepts of "attachment" and "attachment disorder" for greater leverage in the dispute, and "[t]he concept of attachment can readily tip the scales in custody and parenting-time cases involving infants and young children."   See Pamela S. Ludolph & Mildred D. Dale, Attachment in Child Custody:  An Additive Factor, Not a Determinative One, Family Law Quarterly, Vol. 46, No. 1, Spring 2012.  However, as Ludolph & Dale detail, "attachment is often incompletely understood in both the legal and mental health communities." 

What Do You Tell Your Kids About Divorce?

As a domestic relations mediator, I see my clients struggle with how and when to tell their kids about their upcoming divorce.  I've recently come across a helpful article on the subject by Sol R. Rappaport, Ph.D., a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, in the Summer issue of the ABA's Family Advocate.  Id., Telling Your Children About the Divorce.  Here's some of his excellent comments and suggestions.

What to Bring to Divorce Mediation

As a domestic relations mediator, I'm often asked "what should I bring to mediation?"  The short answer is, "whatever documents you think you need related to custody, child support and/or property division."  This is not intended to be flip.  However, you know the facts of your own case better than I do--and the level of accord and amicability between yourself and your spouse or partner.  Specifically, what do you think he or she will need to see to accept your claims about salary, your debt, etc.? 

Domestic Advisory Consultation--What is it?

Besides being a domestic relations mediator, I also am a court appointed "Advisory Consultant" for the Thirteenth Judicial District in New Mexico.  In this capacity I meet with parents, meet the children, view their interactions, and make a written recommendation to the Court concerning custody matters.  This is potentially a stressful event to the

The Intersection of Bankruptcy and Divorce

Increasingly when couples come to me today seeking to mediate their New Mexico divorce, it quickly becomes apparent that they need to consider bankruptcy.  Although an attorney, I do not do bankruptcies, so I generally insist that they take a time out from the process (a few days or weeks) to confer with or consider conferring with a bankruptcy attorney.  In New Mexico, the State Bar generally conducts a Consumer Debt/Bankruptcy Workshop every 4th Wednesday of each month, at 6:00 p.m., at the State Bar offices at  5121 Masthead NE, Albuquerque. (To sign up, call 505.797.6094.)  

Here's is a very brief and superficial overview of bankruptcy, and bankruptcy issues arising in divorce.

NM Separation, Divorce and Parentage Proceedings

Although I began my alternative dispute resolution (ADR) career in the labor/employment field, I have since expanded my practice to include domestic relation mediation and child protection related work.  Perhaps this seems like an odd combination to some.  However, I see a lot of similarities in these areas--work and family--in that both deal with intensely personal issues that affect major portions of our life's endeavors.  

I discuss neutrality principles generally and labor and employment issues in particular on my other blogs.  See On Being a Neutral, and  On New Mexico Labor and Employment Law.   Here, I will focus on "matters of family, child protection and home."  In this, my inaugural posting, I will address New Medico separation, divorce and parentage proceedings, from perspective of a domestic relations mediator.